I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
