go do what you do best...puke behind churches
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
