You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize