I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
