whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
