i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
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Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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