Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
