why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize