u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
