I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
