So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
