We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
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Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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