Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
