Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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