if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
