Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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