I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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