How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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