In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
