So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
