Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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