where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
