How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
