i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
