Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
