We won't sleep together?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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