thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
