Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
