yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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