She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
