Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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