my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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