i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
