In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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