But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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