Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
