Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
