oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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