Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
