i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
