You work out of a Hotel?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
