dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
