you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I will pee on everything he values.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
