im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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