every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
