with your own penis?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
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I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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