this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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