I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
