I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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