You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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