Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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