Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
