There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I don't think brook has ever known best
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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