goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So vagazzling was a success
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
