Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
