I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
