My underwear smells like fireworks.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
