I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
