nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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