i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
