drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
