Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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