I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
