I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize