I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
