I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I AM VODKA MAN
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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