I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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