Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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