Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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