we're blogging at a bar
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
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