I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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