so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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