Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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