That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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