So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There r osticjed everywhere
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
