i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and she was petting her beer can
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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